The Onion: Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth

Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out of His Mouth

Rick Santorum: Telling American Christians to
Rick Santorum tells American Christians to "Hunker down and pray" during the impending attack from homosexuals, Satan and Snooki.

“Uneasy voters told reporters it was becoming more and more evident that comments from Santorum defending sodomy laws as acceptable restrictions on ‘wants and passions’ and characterizing pregnancy occurring through rape as a ‘gift’ from God were not politically calculated but were, in fact, spoken out of sincere, startling conviction.”

This is the best Onion article I have ever read.  Ever.  Sure, because it’s funny, as the Onion usually is.  But also because it causes the reader to laugh…in sort of a nervous way…due to its horribly frightening accuracy.

Most politicians pander.  Gingrich does it.  Romney is definitely doing it.  Obama even does it.  They say things during the election cycle (sometimes very controversial things) that they quickly drop and move on from once they are elected.  In 2004, Bush was all about the anti-gay marriage amendment.  We heard “one man, one woman” batted around a kazillion times during that God-forsaken election.  Once he was safely back in office, however, we gays were safely out of his crosshairs.  Because Bush doesn’t really BELIEVE the fundamentalist Christian bullshit he spouted during the election.  Gays, however, are a very reliable tool with which to whip the fundies into a rabid, frothing, voting frenzy.  Oh, you Bible-beating little pawns!

But with Santorum, there is no doubt in my mind that the guy is not pandering.  Not one bit.  He honestly believes and stands behind every word that comes out of his mouth.  This is evident because he’s been taking these stances for YEARS.  He compared homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality way back in 2003.  That’s a damn long time to hold up some sort of facade in order to get elected.

I am SO glad to see the Onion taking this one on!

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2 thoughts on “The Onion: Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth

  1. Santorum is a *very* strange man. Which is saying something in a party populated by bigots, racists, xenophobes, misogynists and fundamentalist delusionals. “Me thinks he doth protest too much” it will be interesting to see if we find out why lies beneath Mr Santorum’s vile rhetoric.

  2. How many years do we give him before he gets caught in a hotel room with a video camera, a male prostitute and a bag of crystal meth? I agree with you… The man doth protest WAY too much.

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